Saw XXX

Why the long layoff? Let's just say that I was deleuzianal.

But also to gather up material after 7 months away. You'd think that this would provide for some top-notch comedy - which evidence shows has never appeared on this site - but these past few months have been more disappointing than the Squash Players at Schulcih club.

So what's happened? The UBC lost 56% of its height and 100% of its anger with the resignation of Daniel Balint. I don't think there was any controversy behind this, that would probably happen to the Cips or something...after all, incest is frowned upon in the Western world. So who is the new VP Finance? Drum roll please..........................you're not doing it................................................Justin Liu! Justin Hu? No, Justin Liu! Well it's official UBC is no longer relevant. Might as well rename it the OMIS and Cips Show and watch the ratings plummet. Speaking of shows, here's a promo for Kelvin Ng's upcoming magic show at his own birthday party. That's the most ngnorant thing I've ever seen.

Remember this year's rage dodgeball night? Oh you had something to do that night? You lucky son of a bitch. But the night was abound with unintentional comedy featuring some guy getting blinded, more walking around than actual dodgeball playing, and the real pussies of Schulich exposing themselves as they ran away from campus security faster than Jamesious runs away from pussy...or was it dick...probably both.

Schulich has a mascot now, thousands of dollars wasted on a sex doll for Minhaj to practice on. My problem with the costume is that bulldogs stand on four legs whereas the Schulich Bulldog stands on two legs. C'mon people, we're not in fucking grade school it's time we have an anatomically correct mascot. And don't get me started on the wang size. They must have bought the mascot from Chinatown.......cuz it looks cheap!

How about the class of 2013. Cricket chirp. Cricket chirp. Every first year class always has all this momentum and they are supposed to be the most gungho and annoying year. These guys? Booooooooorrrrrring. No one overly attractive, interesting or smart. In fact, I'm confident that there are at least 80 clones of the same brown guy. He's the reason the library's always so packed! Oh wait that's Amanda Liscio.