"The killer woke before dawn"

So if you guys don't get that reference its cuz you're listening to too much T.I. and anyone who likes T.I is a poser.

Case in point:











So I started this blog with the intent of pointing out the absurdity of Schulich. It was supposed to be more Harper's with swearing but eventually turned into Maddox with less swearing.

Its funny cuz I always thought that Schulich needed a tabloid. Of course I would never read it but I could always exploit the fact that Schulichers really have no life and would read it. The problem was, I frankly could care less about that menial shit while I was asked to serve a group of readers that wanted more filth. You love hating the Cips. You love hating UBC. And most of all, you love hating other people.

Its human nature. After all, those people are successful and you're not. Why do you think we like seeing Tom Cruise go apeshit on Oprah. You want to bring them down to your level.

I am aware of my holier-than-thou tone and let me be frank, I do not feel that way. Nor am I a member of the UBC as you fuckheads have been hypothesizing. I'm just another Schulicher like you anonymouses out there that is seeing something wrong with our school.

Why is there this divide? Why do most of you know who Mike Ng is but have never hung out and talked to him? I don't have the answer but I do know there is a problem. You all probably have your own cliques that you only hang out with at Schulich, rarely venturing out of that safety zone. Every day I got to Schulich and see a douche/bitch shield around everyone. I know you've got shit to do and you're stressed cuz there's too many asians fucking up your bellcurve, but we're all going through the same shit. Sometimes, I wish we could all be first years again (except for the current first years, I wish they went to Ivey). Yeah OMIS is gay but at least they are friendly to people. They're trying to create some good in our community and that's more than all of the bloggers and anonymous commenters of this world are doing combined.

Let me end by saying I never meant anything hateful in any of my posts. Just like tabloids, I should write "for entertainment purposes only" as a disclaimer and also because I can lie and say that Praveen is an alien from outer space. You all got into Schulich for a reason so I know deep inside there that there's a brain and a heart, except Nic, I fucking hate that guy.

Forget trying to be cool and have some fun.

"Doing a blue rock
Cmon, yeah

Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill"

Shit Runners United

"Well, if it's got a photoshopped logo, then it must be legit!"
-- Schulich students
** Note: Man U are bigger pussies than accountants.

Finally, Schulich has been blessed with a running club. I can't believe Cip pulled this one off. How the hell did he get admin approval for this? Or the funding...you know those safety reflective tapes aren't cheap. Unless your name is Ali Badruddin, you of course are not oblivious to sarcasm. But I gotta say, I like Jonathan's political style. Suck dick, do nothing. Oh wait, did I say I liked that? I mean I tried it. Moving on...

Since everyone in Schulich (except one "special" case) can run, this is just as useful as the Schulich Eating Club. That is, a club where Schulichers eat and not a club where people eat Schulich (sorry Key). How about Loser Virgins United? Fuck, OMIS already did that.

How about an Ugly Asian Girl Association? All the white guys would definitely join!

You're all fucking losers

Ok really, who the fuck takes the time to solve a crytogram? Yes it's a stupid message but you know what really stupid? YOU. But if you little chicklings are hungry for hate, let me regurgitate some things here.

The new UBC? Absolute shit. Check out their website which it still breaking us with strike updates.
http://www.ubc.schulich.yorku.ca/

You'll notice that nowhere on the site can you find the names and pictures and the new ubc. My guess? They're still trying to figure out who the fuck Sue Song, Sen Qin, and Xin Zhang are. They sound like Kung Fu masters but look like Kung Pao servers.

And two Cips...in two positions?! Let's not get carried away here. Where's Anthony going to get sponsorship from? Gino's Pizza? Maybe he should ask for money next time he sucks Narbe's dick. All I can say for marketing is prepare for an onslaught of cut and paste videos from Jonathan's Macbook.

Did anyone get laid at the hawaiian pub night? Judging by the people there I hope not. Here are four people who for humanity's sake, never get laid. No reason.

Oh yeah, and get a life. Read something other than stupid blogs like a textbook. Yes, I'm talking to you Kamran "suck dick for a 5.0 gpa" Jessani. That's right, I know about that.

A look at schulich's ubc election

The Schulich year is never complete without the shitshow that is the ubc elections. Some years there's no restrictions and all hell breaks loose and other years there's more restrictions which unleashes a greater gong-show than Mike Ng after a shot of coors lite. Of course we all remember Jonathan Cipolletta's spontaneous combustion in last year's elections where he was disqualified and was rumoured to have collasped (although since he's Italian I'm sure it was a flop). This year, the stupidity reaches a new apex (Apex being the typical Schulich measure of stupidity) with the infusion of dumb first years like the omis crew. A word of advice to those guys, if you're gonna have a sausage fest exclusive club, at least don't name it after your stats course. First up is Minhaj: the fresh prince of schulich.

This looks like a bad Japanese ad. Despite declaring that "there is no i in team", Minhaj insists on rounding up a truckful of Asian refugees and forcing them to point at him. There's no i in team but there's one in shitty poster. Furthermore, call me old-fashioned by I just don't think a brown man can be described as fresh. Speaking of which, before the picture was taken the group was asked to point at where that funky smell was coming from. Excuse me, I think I getting a seizure from this poster.




This would be the biggest action film in China: Mr. & Mrs. IT starring super couple Jane Lee and Mike Xin. Mike plays an unqualified nerd trying to get an IT position and Jane plays the whore by his side that leaves him after he loses. Did I mention this was a reality show? You can also catch Mike in the upcoming Ex-Men movie about guys who lose their balls when they join OMIS.

As vomit-inducing as this effort is, it is still better than anything we have seen from Anthony Cipolletta this year. This year he finally answered the age old question, how many Cipollettas does it take to design a website? The answer is 2, one to fail at it and a look-alike to be even more of a dumbass (mike fu can fucking design the website)





The 2nd annual Jonathan Cipolletta collapse is in full force.
Gee, an Obama impression, how'd you think of that one Jonathan? Here are some key differences between Cipolletta and Obama. Obama is half black and half white; Cipolletta is half a man. Obama was the first black editor of the Harvard Law Review; Cippolletta was the first black spot for Apex. Obama managed to overcome racial tensions in Southern U.S.; Cipolletta manages to be uglier than his twin brother. Obama sought to bring change to the political establishment; Cipolletta is the fucking establishment. Obama plans to unite his country; Cipolletta plans to spread Narbe's butt cheeks.

Alright, I'm outta here,
Love ya like Carmen loves all-you-can-eat sushi