A look at schulich's ubc election

The Schulich year is never complete without the shitshow that is the ubc elections. Some years there's no restrictions and all hell breaks loose and other years there's more restrictions which unleashes a greater gong-show than Mike Ng after a shot of coors lite. Of course we all remember Jonathan Cipolletta's spontaneous combustion in last year's elections where he was disqualified and was rumoured to have collasped (although since he's Italian I'm sure it was a flop). This year, the stupidity reaches a new apex (Apex being the typical Schulich measure of stupidity) with the infusion of dumb first years like the omis crew. A word of advice to those guys, if you're gonna have a sausage fest exclusive club, at least don't name it after your stats course. First up is Minhaj: the fresh prince of schulich.

This looks like a bad Japanese ad. Despite declaring that "there is no i in team", Minhaj insists on rounding up a truckful of Asian refugees and forcing them to point at him. There's no i in team but there's one in shitty poster. Furthermore, call me old-fashioned by I just don't think a brown man can be described as fresh. Speaking of which, before the picture was taken the group was asked to point at where that funky smell was coming from. Excuse me, I think I getting a seizure from this poster.




This would be the biggest action film in China: Mr. & Mrs. IT starring super couple Jane Lee and Mike Xin. Mike plays an unqualified nerd trying to get an IT position and Jane plays the whore by his side that leaves him after he loses. Did I mention this was a reality show? You can also catch Mike in the upcoming Ex-Men movie about guys who lose their balls when they join OMIS.

As vomit-inducing as this effort is, it is still better than anything we have seen from Anthony Cipolletta this year. This year he finally answered the age old question, how many Cipollettas does it take to design a website? The answer is 2, one to fail at it and a look-alike to be even more of a dumbass (mike fu can fucking design the website)





The 2nd annual Jonathan Cipolletta collapse is in full force.
Gee, an Obama impression, how'd you think of that one Jonathan? Here are some key differences between Cipolletta and Obama. Obama is half black and half white; Cipolletta is half a man. Obama was the first black editor of the Harvard Law Review; Cippolletta was the first black spot for Apex. Obama managed to overcome racial tensions in Southern U.S.; Cipolletta manages to be uglier than his twin brother. Obama sought to bring change to the political establishment; Cipolletta is the fucking establishment. Obama plans to unite his country; Cipolletta plans to spread Narbe's butt cheeks.

Alright, I'm outta here,
Love ya like Carmen loves all-you-can-eat sushi