Saw XXX

Why the long layoff? Let's just say that I was deleuzianal.

But also to gather up material after 7 months away. You'd think that this would provide for some top-notch comedy - which evidence shows has never appeared on this site - but these past few months have been more disappointing than the Squash Players at Schulcih club.

So what's happened? The UBC lost 56% of its height and 100% of its anger with the resignation of Daniel Balint. I don't think there was any controversy behind this, that would probably happen to the Cips or something...after all, incest is frowned upon in the Western world. So who is the new VP Finance? Drum roll please..........................you're not doing it................................................Justin Liu! Justin Hu? No, Justin Liu! Well it's official UBC is no longer relevant. Might as well rename it the OMIS and Cips Show and watch the ratings plummet. Speaking of shows, here's a promo for Kelvin Ng's upcoming magic show at his own birthday party. That's the most ngnorant thing I've ever seen.

Remember this year's rage dodgeball night? Oh you had something to do that night? You lucky son of a bitch. But the night was abound with unintentional comedy featuring some guy getting blinded, more walking around than actual dodgeball playing, and the real pussies of Schulich exposing themselves as they ran away from campus security faster than Jamesious runs away from pussy...or was it dick...probably both.

Schulich has a mascot now, thousands of dollars wasted on a sex doll for Minhaj to practice on. My problem with the costume is that bulldogs stand on four legs whereas the Schulich Bulldog stands on two legs. C'mon people, we're not in fucking grade school it's time we have an anatomically correct mascot. And don't get me started on the wang size. They must have bought the mascot from Chinatown.......cuz it looks cheap!

How about the class of 2013. Cricket chirp. Cricket chirp. Every first year class always has all this momentum and they are supposed to be the most gungho and annoying year. These guys? Booooooooorrrrrring. No one overly attractive, interesting or smart. In fact, I'm confident that there are at least 80 clones of the same brown guy. He's the reason the library's always so packed! Oh wait that's Amanda Liscio.

"The killer woke before dawn"

So if you guys don't get that reference its cuz you're listening to too much T.I. and anyone who likes T.I is a poser.

Case in point:











So I started this blog with the intent of pointing out the absurdity of Schulich. It was supposed to be more Harper's with swearing but eventually turned into Maddox with less swearing.

Its funny cuz I always thought that Schulich needed a tabloid. Of course I would never read it but I could always exploit the fact that Schulichers really have no life and would read it. The problem was, I frankly could care less about that menial shit while I was asked to serve a group of readers that wanted more filth. You love hating the Cips. You love hating UBC. And most of all, you love hating other people.

Its human nature. After all, those people are successful and you're not. Why do you think we like seeing Tom Cruise go apeshit on Oprah. You want to bring them down to your level.

I am aware of my holier-than-thou tone and let me be frank, I do not feel that way. Nor am I a member of the UBC as you fuckheads have been hypothesizing. I'm just another Schulicher like you anonymouses out there that is seeing something wrong with our school.

Why is there this divide? Why do most of you know who Mike Ng is but have never hung out and talked to him? I don't have the answer but I do know there is a problem. You all probably have your own cliques that you only hang out with at Schulich, rarely venturing out of that safety zone. Every day I got to Schulich and see a douche/bitch shield around everyone. I know you've got shit to do and you're stressed cuz there's too many asians fucking up your bellcurve, but we're all going through the same shit. Sometimes, I wish we could all be first years again (except for the current first years, I wish they went to Ivey). Yeah OMIS is gay but at least they are friendly to people. They're trying to create some good in our community and that's more than all of the bloggers and anonymous commenters of this world are doing combined.

Let me end by saying I never meant anything hateful in any of my posts. Just like tabloids, I should write "for entertainment purposes only" as a disclaimer and also because I can lie and say that Praveen is an alien from outer space. You all got into Schulich for a reason so I know deep inside there that there's a brain and a heart, except Nic, I fucking hate that guy.

Forget trying to be cool and have some fun.

"Doing a blue rock
Cmon, yeah

Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill"

The Cips So Weird, They...

Yes another lame "finish the sentence" post.
I was reading some user comments and thought of how the sentence "The Cips are soo weird, they..." can end with anything you can think of and it would still sound plausible.

Let me get things started off here.

The Cips are so weird, they jack each other off with their left hands because its as if they were jacking themselves off with their right hand.

You're all fucking losers

Ok really, who the fuck takes the time to solve a crytogram? Yes it's a stupid message but you know what really stupid? YOU. But if you little chicklings are hungry for hate, let me regurgitate some things here.

The new UBC? Absolute shit. Check out their website which it still breaking us with strike updates.
http://www.ubc.schulich.yorku.ca/

You'll notice that nowhere on the site can you find the names and pictures and the new ubc. My guess? They're still trying to figure out who the fuck Sue Song, Sen Qin, and Xin Zhang are. They sound like Kung Fu masters but look like Kung Pao servers.

And two Cips...in two positions?! Let's not get carried away here. Where's Anthony going to get sponsorship from? Gino's Pizza? Maybe he should ask for money next time he sucks Narbe's dick. All I can say for marketing is prepare for an onslaught of cut and paste videos from Jonathan's Macbook.

Did anyone get laid at the hawaiian pub night? Judging by the people there I hope not. Here are four people who for humanity's sake, never get laid. No reason.

Oh yeah, and get a life. Read something other than stupid blogs like a textbook. Yes, I'm talking to you Kamran "suck dick for a 5.0 gpa" Jessani. That's right, I know about that.

Stop the Cips!

If we recall the last time a democratic process elected an idiot, the Bush Administration, we know that the results could be devastating. The Cips aren't just dumb; They're Michael Scott dumb. That is, the oblivious and annoying idiot that is always around.

Let me put this frankly: Outside of maybe 4 or 5 people. The Cips don't give a fuck about you. Oh yeah, they'll talk to you cuz they're so great and all but masked behind those actions is a motive. Yes the Cips' thirst for power is one even greater than their thirst for jizz.

Not unlike George Bush, the Cips are like puppets to a group of people who primarily run Schulich. We've seen year after year, the outgoing council will have already penned in next year's council during one of their private meetings. I'd have no problem with this but penning in a total moron is like only letting chris borg go to a strip club. A total waste!

You know who I'm voting for? Abstain. The quality of the candidates is such shit that I cannot vote for them. If this is one of the best business schools in the world, why are our student representatives so weak? Let's abstain this whole thing and start again with some real candidates.

Also, i want to try something out. Every time a candidate comes and bothers you trying to campaign to you in the marketplace, tell that guy to "schulick my balls".